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writing
Jon writes for radio, TV, newspapers and magazines. And on toilet walls, when the mood takes him. Read some of his recent Sunday Times columns here. There's book action as well:
Why was Candle in the Wind for Diana a terrible mistake? Which rock star left an unspeakable gift inside a hotel room hairdryer? What's the story behind Ozzy Osbourne and the exploding mouse? Rock and roll and rumour go together like Peaches and Geldof. Tales of outrageous excess, of the filth and the fury (not to mention the furry) are part of music's heritage. Whether they're true or bare-faced lies, Jon Holmes has gathered together the greatest pop and rock myths and legends ever told. These stories have come straight from the mouths of those that were there, those that shouldn't have been there and those that were there for a bit but left early and only heard about it afterwards.
PRAISE FOR STATUS QUO AND THE KANGAROO & ROCK STAR BABYLON
“A classic. A must read pop culture gem”
BooklistUSA
“Amusing, preposterous and frankly disturbing."
Sunday Herald
“Ripe Reading.. Holmes mercilessly tears into everyone from Motley Crue to Cliff Richard.”
Big Issue
“Entertaining and stomach churning.”
Metro
'A cracking read for anyone who thinks that the music industry is just too much about the music these days.'
David 'Peep Show' Mitchell
'Like Max Bygraves, Jon Holmes wants to tell you a story, but unlike Max Bygraves, he's very, very funny'
Andrew Collins
'Yeees. What a magnificent book. I am the doctor.'
Jon Culshaw in the voice of Tom Baker
'Sorry Jon, I can't give you a quote for your book as I recently gave one to Andy Riley and I don't want to seem like a quote whore.'
Armando Iannucci
'Sorry Jon, Armando has done my book. But if he'd done yours, I imagine he'd say something like 'it's nice''.
Andy 'Bunny Suicides' Riley
Jon has written for, among others, The Guardian, The Times, The Independent, The Telegraph and magazines including Time Out and The Radio Times. He has a monthly column - Motormouth - in the Sunday Times. Selected articles can be read by clicking on the links below. Original versions of the articles (before the sub editors took all the jokes out and cleverly moved all the sentences around so they no longer make any sense) can also be read below.
January - Where's My Cocking Parcel?
December 2008 - Horrible Christmas Lights Gaudily Nailed to The Front of Chav's Houses
December 2008 - Christmas Gadget Gift Magazines And Why They Are Rubbish
November - Why Things Break All The Time
October - American Idiot click for original version
September - Afraid of The Gatwick Baggage Beast click for original version
And they really went to town on this one. Jesus. Here's the original.
The July 2009 "re-imagining" of my piece on car parks by someone at the Sunday Times was quite bizarre. Here's what I wrote. Here's what they printed. FFS. I like that they even spelt my name wrong.
more
Read Jon's tribute to Oliver Postgate in the Guardian plus his article on the Jonathan Ross / Russell Brand radio swearfest
other writing
Jon is also in demand as a speechwriter having written for the likes of Keanu Reeves, Bono, Leonardo DiCapri, Jamie Foxx and Dame Helen Mirren. Jon also co-wrote 
Stephen Fry's script when he hosted the Bafta Film Awards.
He's also written corporate addresses for a range of media industry executives including Mark Thompson and James Caan out of off of Dragon's Den.
For further information and availability please contact Jon's agent.
Over on Radio 2 he writes and co-presents The Day The Music Died and hosts his very own Saturday afternoon show on BBC 6 Music where he plays some very good music and messes around in the gaps. His music radio shows have earned him Sony Gold and Best New Presenter Awards but he’s no stranger to talk radio either, having hosted the Drivetime show on London’s LBC 97.3 where he could be regularly heard verbally jousting with mentals. He’s also had his own shows on XFM, Radio 1 and Virgin and it was from the latter that he quite notoriously earned the sack in 2002 when a phone in game called ‘Swearing Radio Hangman for the Under 12s went tragically expensive in terms of a record fine. Jon still holds the record for ‘largest fine ever for taste and decency offences in British broadcasting’. Sadly he didn’t get a certificate or anything. A comedy special Jon Holmes on Radio 1 aired on the station last year.
TV work includes writing, performing and presenting in various combinations on Time Trumpet (BBC2), Mock The Week (BBC2) 7 Days (BBC3), Dead Ringers (BBC2) The Impressionable Jon Culshaw (ITV1), Armando Iannucci’s Gash (CH4) , The State We’re In and Celebdaq (both BBC3), Have I Got News For You, 29 Minutes of Fame, ( both BBC1) and co-hosting Series 5 of The 11 O’Clock Show (CH4). He was also Programme Consultant on the multi award winning V Graham Norton (CH4), regular guest on The Wright Stuff (CH5), and Sky News where he makes the presenter Anna Botting go red and start giggling. He’s also been on This Morning (ITV1) a few times where he once called Phillip Schofield a “witch”. He was approached to see if he wanted to be stuck in the jungle for ITV1’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here but told them to sod off.
His first book Status Quo and the Kangaroo was published by Penguin in 2007 and was published in America in 2008. The paperback book Rock Star Babylon (Penguin) was published the UK in 2008 and is now publishedslied in Australia, Russia, India and the USA.
He wrote the script for the BAFTA Film Awards with, and for, Stephen Fry to great acclaim and was the host for the MOJO Awards. He has also written words for the likes of Keanu Reeves, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx and Bono. He has been variously described as “clever…but warped” by The Sunday Times, “a genius” by Heat, “wickedly funny” by The Times and “a tosser” by Martine McCutcheon in an interview in Smash Hits. He is most proud of that one.