radio

MOST POPULAR CLIPS

Above L-R:

i. Jon deals with a complaint to his Radio 1 show by getting a band to set the angry complainer's letter to music.

ii. On his BBC 6Music show, Jon re-edits popular presenter George Lamb and drops his 'unique' interviewing style into Radio 4's Today Programme.

iii. With the return of Gladiators to the television, Jon and Andy recreate it in the 6Music studio.

iv. Tory leader David Cameron does a 'web blog' from his house. Jon messes with it.

radio click to jump

• Radio 1
• Radio 2
• Radio 4
• 6Music
• Virgin
• LBC97.3
• Xfm
• PowerFM
• CTFM

JON HOLMES on 6MUSIC Each and every Saturday afternoon between 2-4pm Jon dicks about in the gaps where music isn't on BBC 6 Music. What do you mean you've never heard of it? It's also the home of Adam and Joe and Stephen Merchant and Steve Lamacq and Bruce Dickinson out of off of Iron Maiden. Tsk. Regular features include:

The Old Gay Whistle Test - a homosexual pensioner whistles a tune for the listeners to guess.

Ken Bruce Master - Radio 2's PopMaster quiz is turned "arseaboutupside", so instead of listeners answering questions about pop stars, pop stars answer very stupid and surreal questions about Radio 2 presenter Ken Bruce.

Rock Star DIY Tip - various rock stars share DIY advice. No, really. Recent examples include MeatLoaf on correctly potting bulbs and Mark Ronson on the best way to install a mortice lock.

Celebrity Endorsement - every week the show is endorsed by a figure in the news, for example "Hello, I'm Robert Mugabe, and when I'm not killing white farmers or rigging elections I always listen to the Jon Holmes show on BBC 6Music". (Voices may not be celebrity's own)

Toddler Pops - a five year old child called Nikita discusses politics with Jon and then plays a related tune on a toy xylophone tune for listeners to guess. Nikita also features in Nikita's Newsround where she anayzes the week's news using crayons.

Band I Found On MySpace Or...- quiz in which various strange names are read out. They're either the name of 'a band I found on MySpace' or something else. The something else changes each week. Examples include 'Band I Found on MySpace' or 'type of spider' and 'Band I Found on MySpace' or 'Name of Real Ale'.

Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell On The Radio - callers must battle their way through 'a disused Russian submarine' and shoot whatever pops up as Jon 'reads out' the action. The things that pop up are often very surreal and often tied to the week's news.

Rockananory - rock stars read specially rewritten children's fairy tales. Did you miss Florence and the Machine reading the tale of Hansel and Gretel? You fool.

Features are interspersed with various fake news items and re-edited audio in the style of Jon's own Radio 4 show Listen Against. On air he is joined in the studio by fat ginger man Andy Hurst and BBC idiot David Whitehead.

BBC RADIO 4 Jon appears on BBC Radio 4 more often than the weather. He writes and performs on the Sony Award winning The Now Show, has his own series Listen Against and co-writes Sony Award winning Armando Iannucci's Charm Offensive. Listen Against is the winner of nothing.

THE NOW SHOW features Jon and Steve Punt, Hugh Dennis, Mitch Benn and Laura Shavin with regular guest Marcus Brigstocke. It's on Friday nights on Radio 4 at 6.30pm, with a repeat on Saturday lunchtimes. You can listen again online or the show is available via the futuristic medium of podcast.

LISTEN AGAINST There have been 2 series of Listen Against, which Jon co-presents with newsreader Alice Arnold. The show 'takes the programmes out of the radio, fiddles around with them and then puts them back together the wrong way round. The program has been well received, The Daily Telegraph calling the show "beautifully crafted and sharp" and The Guardian described it as "the mischievous offspring of Radio 4's Feedback and The Day Today". Among plenty of other made up nonsense presented as real, Series 2 had reports from the Radio 4 Large Collider where programmes were smashed into each other six miles underthe BBC, the first ever Thought For The day for satanists and John Craven's Countryfile USA where he travelled across America on a Spacehopper.

DEAD RINGERS Jon co-created and co-wrote this multi-award winning show which ran for several radio series before transferring to television on BBC 2. Series 1 won a Gold Sony award, A British Comedy Award, A Broadcasting Press Guild Award and some other ones. It wasn't as good on the television. There are clips all over YouTube of both the radio and TV series, should you be arsed.

ARMANDO IANNUCCI'S CHARM OFFENSIVE Jon co-writes this Sony award winning weekly panel based dissection of the week's news with guests. Much of it is downloadable, pod-abale and inedible.

THE 99p CHALLENGE Created by Kevin Cecil and Andy Riley, Jon co-wrote and appeared on this surreal panel show where listeners stood to win 99p. It won a Sony Award and was then promptly axed. Hosted by Sue Perkins, other regular guests included Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Peter Baynham, Armando Iannucci and Peter Serafinowicz. Notably, Jon is the least successful out of all these people. Possibly because of his jacket.

GRIEVOUS BODILY RADIO - Jon's first ever radio 4 show. This from the Online Encyclopedia of British Radio Comedy:

"As the name suggests, a series which tended to be bruising. This quarter-hour sketch show was written by newcomers Jon Holmes and Andy Hurst, who performed it with Mike Chequer, Emma Clarke and the impressionist Peter Serafinowicz. The high-octane presentation combined well-constructed versions of obvious comic ideas (Terry Wogan as a closet gangsta rap fanatic, etc) with a kind of studied, deliberate crassness reminiscent of Lee and Herring’s Fist Of Fun.

With its abrasive material and youth-oriented references, the show was typical of the kind of programming which had, until recently, been heard on Radio 1: the original intention was to broadcast it on both stations (as had been done with a couple of shows in 1993), but the Radio 1 policy decision to end comedy programming came into effect before the series made it to air. Sadly, Radio 4 proved unable to assimilate Grievous Bodily Radio’s style — after a number of complaints from listeners, the sixth and final show in the run was pulled (it was replaced, without explanation, with a compilation of safe material from earlier shows), and the series was not repeated or recommissioned. Sadly, the current situation is that hard-edged or potentially controversial new acts are without a home on national radio."

BBC RADIO 2 Jon writes and co-hosts The Day The Music Died with Andrew Collings. It's on Saturday lunchtimes (or at least it was) for 5 series and two christmas specials. Series 1-4 also featured Robin Ince. It's not available as a podcast at all. If anyone can find it on the internet or elsewhere then do tell us. It's mostly men arguing oin the radio about whether or not Bon Jovi are better than Morrissey. They are. No question.

Jon's new show I'm Spartacus records in March 2009 and will be broadcast in April. It's a film panel game with Jon as team captain. Details to follow.

JON HOLMES on RADIO 1 Last year Radio 1 gave Jon a late night one-off special in which he spent the time playing music whilst childishly messing around in the gaps. As usual. It featured such illustrious items as a game of 'Slut Bingo ' (listeners could download a bingo card with 'sluts' on - everyone from Abi Titmuss to Mick Hucknall to All Nurses, the Jon Holmes 'Complaint Letter Hat' (in which complaints about the show were set to music - clip at top of page), a late night Newsbeat especially for tramps and Jon phoning those sorts of numbers that you see written in biro on the back of toilet cubicle doors in public lavatories, just to see who answered. Mad people, it transpired. As on his 6Music show, Jon was joined by Andy Hurst with whom he argued, notably when they find a new born baby on the steps of Radio 1 and they have to hide it "in case Chris Moyles eats it".

JON HOLMES on XFM A short lived stint this. In fact, it lasted an hour. Jon was new and didn't know where the toilets were so he went in then fellow presenter Dermot O'Leary's desk drawer. It was only a wee. He also suggested Dr Fox (then out of off of Capital Radio on the floor below) be hunted like an actual fox with dogs through the streets of London. He wasn't asked back.

JON HOLMES on VIRGIN Jon sort of made his name here. Tellingly, on the tragic day of September 11th 2001, Jon signed to Virgin Radio to present his late night weekend show. They tell him he's there to 'push the boundaries and bait Ofcom.' He does. Then he gets sacked amid at least three upheld complaints and reports of a record fine for any British radio station. This is mostly over the feature 'Swearing Radio Hangman For The Under 12's'. There are other grwon up mature features like the Pissing Contest (listeners had to drink heavily and not go to the toilet for the duration of the show and then, at the end, 2 listeners would see who could wee for the longest. In full audio glory.) And there was French Oral in which contestants had to orally pleasure their partner who had to try and concentrate to answer general knowledge questions about France. Award winning stuff. There's lots of audio of this show on the internet. Listen to some random clips here. (Thanks to Jake Rukin & James Cridland)

Paint Job - 380KB
A taxi driver throws paint over a man's car, all in the name of revenge. From the last show before Jon got sacked.

The Pissing Contest - 1260KB
In the background are Sharon and Susan off of Comedy Lounge. Sharon wanted it here.

Show Intro - 212KB
For no particular reason, it's just here.

Travis the Baby Part 1 - 170KB and Part 2 - 658KB
The meeting of minds of Jon Holmes and Travis the baby.

Blind Boy Raffle - 414KB
Shouting and arguing in the studio over some raffle tickets.

Taxi - 263KB
Jon gets a taxi driver to drive his fare round a roundabout over and over again.

Penky Wind Up Call - 413KB
Jon rings upnoted 'prank' DJ Steve Penk at 12:45am "just to see how he likes it."

The Eliminator and Adam Ant Part 1 - 972KB
The Eliminator tries to find a recently-gone-mental Adam Ant in the Royal Free Hospital, prompting numerous complaints.

The Eliminator and Adam Ant Part 2 - 445KB
The Eliminator has been caught and thrown out, losing Jon's phone in the process.

The Eliminator and Adam Ant Part 3 - 154KB
The Eliminator gets back to the studio.

Neighbours Call - 360KB
While Daniel MacPherson (Joel out of Neighbours) is on the show doing the panto, Jon takes the opportunity to phone Shane Connor, who plays Joe Scully.

The Eliminator at Children in Need - 1180KB
The Eliminator bothers people trying to help charity. What a good cause.

Virgin War - 134KB
Virgin Radio enter the war business.

Radio 2 Call - 627KB
Jon tries to request a song for Bob from New Zealand.

JON HOLMES on LBC 97.3 Having sat in for various prresenters on the London talk station Jon was given his own drivetime phone-in show on Fridays throughout 2007. It was essentially Jon holding court for 3 hours and "verbally jousting with mentals". LBC underwent new ownership and a change to a more newsy format in 2008 and Jon's contract was burned and thrown to the wind.

JON & ANDY on POWER FM Jon (with Andy from the 6Music show) presented a Sunday evening show on Hampshire's Power FM. The show won a Gold Sony Award for features including I'm Standing On... (listners encouraged to stand on their neighbours wheelie bins / cars etc and shout "I'm Standing On (whatever it was) until an angry neighbour came out. All on air). Jon was sacked. Here's some clips.

Plagarism - 153KB
Tackling the topic of plagarism in the music industry.

Dr Fox - 69KB
Win a 'foxy' prize with Jon and Andy.

Intro - 68KB
The intro to one of the Power shows.

JON & ANDY on CTFM Jon's first radio show on the very local station 106 CTFM in Kent. It was on Saturday afternoons and the first sign of trouble was when he faked a news report about the boss of the rival station (Invicta FM 92.4FM) holding DJs hostage because his frequency was lower than CTFMs'. He was demanding a frequency of "at least" 1000FM otherwise he'd "start tossing bodies out." Lawyers got involved. Couple of old clips here:

Mandleson - 68KB
Jon and Andy set the record straight on the old Peter Mandelson issue.

Phil Collins - 118KB
Jon and Andy choose their favourite Phil tracks.

Professor Stephen Hawking - 34KB
A guest presenter.