biography

Jon has done stuff.

 

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Follow a handy timeline of what's happened since Jon first began making offensive jokes for money.

 

 

 

 

 

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1996

Having done 'some radio' at Kent University as well as writing and directing student revue shows, Jon (along with sometime collaborator Andy Hurst) decided to try to be funny in front of people for a living. Hence they did about two stand up gigs in London to about eight people. Meanwhile, Jon began to write rubbish jokes for Radio 4's "hilarious" news satire 'Weekending'.

1997

Weekending got axed. Jon sent some sketches to Spitting Image, off of the television. They used one. Spitting Image was axed. Meanwhile Jon's demo of a show he wanted to do made it's way around the desks of various BBC Comedy producers. It was swiftly earmarked for Radio 1 which had a noble tradition of comedy by this time with shows from Chris Morris, Lee and Herring and Armando Iannucci. Jon's show  'Grievous Bodily Radio' was piloted and commissioned. Radio 1 then axed all of it's comedy output as well as Simon Bates and Dave Lee Travis. Thus Jon's show was moved to Radio 4 and aired for 6 weeks from October. (Although it turned out to be 5 weeks because Radio 4 took it off the air following complaints about taste and decency.) This, as we shall see, was to become a recurring theme. It was also at this time that Jon (with Andy) started doing Saturday afternoons on Kent commercial radio station 106 CTFM. They were quickly moved to evenings. Meanwhile Jon and Andy did three nights at the 1997 Edinburgh Festival on a bill with three other comedians. No one noticed.  

1998

Grievous Bodily Radio wasn't recommissioned by Radio 4 who said it was "not really suitable for the network". This wasn't very surprising as it had originally been for Radio 1. It was however, critically well received so Jon and Andy were asked to join the writing team (of four, including them) of a brand new Radio 4  show called 'The Way It Is'. They also began to work with Harry Hill on 'Harry Hill's Fruit Corner'. Meanwhile the CTFM show won Jon 'Best New Presenter' at the KPMG Commercial Radio Awards. Then he was sacked for "overstepping the boundaries of what could be broadcast."  

1999

The BBC signed Jon to a year long deal so he could develop new programmes and ideas exclusively for them. Out of this time was born the multi-award winning show Dead Ringers - created (using Grievous Bodily Radio's 'Radio 4 continuity jokes' spin) in a room over weak coffee by Jon, Andy, Simon Blackwell and producer Bill Dare. Jon and Andy were also signed to the Capital Group who shoved them out of harm's way on Sunday nights on South Coast Station Power FM. There was also a BBC 2 TV pilot in the pipeline. And another Radio 4 one - 'Watershed Down' - written by and starring Jon and Andy, that Radio 4 hated. Meanwhile they are asked to join the cast of 'The Now Show', a satire show hosted by Punt and Dennis. They work on the first series of Harry Hill's TV show and write up to one joke for 'Have I Got News For You'. The BBC 2 pilot is dropped by BBC 2.  

2000

Andy decides to take a back seat and concentrate on his music career as The Power FM Show wins a Sony Radio Award Gold for 'Best Entertainment Show'. Jon also brings home a Bronze in the Comedy category for his work on Radio 4's 'The Very World of Milton Jones'. Almost immediately Jon is sacked from Power FM for an on-air incident involving some squirrels being thrown at a door. Can we see a pattern emerging? Jon then gets asked to present an overnight show on London radio station XFM. It lasts an hour. Exactly the same amount of time as Jon's career on London radio station XFM. Then Jon is asked to co-host the fifth and final series of risible, generally hated, late night Channel 4 nob-jokes fest The 11 O'Clock Show. Jon agrees. Why, we shall never know.  
 

 

 

2001

 The 11 O'Clock Show is axed. Jon begins work developing a number of TV projects and appearing on Z-list celebrity airwave time filling programmes like 'I Love Top Ten TV Nostalgia Clips' on BBC 2 and Channel 4. Meanwhile he carries on writing and script editing Dead Ringers for Radio 4 and writing and appearing on The Now Show. A project - 'The Jon Holmes Rock Formation' - is more or less greenlit for  music and comedy channel Play UK. Before filming begins a new person is put in charge of programming the channel. She hates the idea and drops it. Then the whole of Play UK is axed. that's right, the whole channel. See the power of Jon's failed projects. Dead Ringers wins Gold at the Sony Radio Awards for Best Comedy. After producing a live version of Dead Ringers at the Radio Festival in Manchester, Jon is asked to produce a new long running comedy show starring Jon Culshaw for the GWR Commercial Radio Network. Channel 4 agree to develop a TV 'vehicle' for Jon. Dead Ringers wins a British Comedy Award. Tellingly, on the tragic day of September 11th, Jon signs to Virgin Radio to present his own show. They tell him he's there to 'push the boundaries and bait the Radio Authority'.  

2002

Jon pushes the boundaries and baits the Radio Authority. Then he gets sacked amid at least three upheld complaints and reports of a record fine for any British radio station. Virgin still enter Jon for a Sony Award, even though they've sacked him to try and reduce their fine. Dead Ringers moves to BBC 1 for a TV Special. Channel 4 stop agreeing to develop a TV 'vehicle' for Jon. Virgin get fined £75,000 and then withdraw Jon's Sony Entry because it might be embarrassing if he won. Which he probably wouldn't have done anyway. Jon isn't allowed on music radio anymore so goes off and produces Dead Ringers for the 2002 Radio Festival, carries on appearing in The Now Show and starts talking to the BBC about a TV project. They give him some money and put the idea into development. It'll probably go about as well as the Channel 4 one did. He also appears on Channel 5's morning show The Wright Stuff several times but is dropped the week of the Queen Mother's funeral and not asked back. Begins writing for a new satirical magazine The Poke which launches at the Edinburgh Festival, and more frighteningly gets asked to be one of the 'celebrities' on ITV's Help! - I'm A 'Celebrity' Get Me Out Of Here. He politely declines. Unique Broadcasting agree to produce a pilot of a new Jon Holmes music radio show for an as yet unspecified network. Jon gets asked to work on a new BBC 3 satire series The State We're In starting in October. He agrees and then goes on holiday. Dead Ringers gets a BBC TWO series starting in November. He records an appearance as a guest on Ralf Little's BBC 3 chat show.

2003

Dead Ringers is firmly established as staple Monday night BBC 2 fare. It’s not as good on the telly. Finally, after the Virgin “incident” Jon starts to be allowed back on commercial radio a bit. He regularly guests on London’s LBC breakfast show and gets up even earlier to occasionally co-host the breakfast show on digital station BBC 6Music with the actor and former Scouse poet and back-of-the car-crack-addict-who-was-once in-prison Craig Charles. This they do when regular host Phill Jupitus is on holiday. Meanwhile, over in TV land, Jon takes on presenting duties on a new comedy show called The State We’re In during which he got beaten up by members of the SAS and threw a teddy bear at a power station.  It's on BBC3 at about midnight. What do you mean you never saw it? Tsk. It was also presented by TV’s Dermot Murnaghan, out of The News. Remember it? No? Sod you then. Jon also joins the writing team of Channel 4’s V Graham Norton in which he is tasked with writing rude things for Graham to say and coming up with various different amusing ways of waving a dildo at guests like Westlife. Radio 4’s The Now Show is well into it’s eighty second series by now with Jon on board and also in Radio 4 world Jon co-writes and appears as a panellist in The 99p Challenge alongside Armando Iannucci, Simon Pegg of the Dead and Peter Baynham. After two series The State We’re In is axed by BBC 3. Armando asks Jon if he’d like to be involved in a new Channel 4 TV show he was developing.
Jon gets involved in a new TV show for Channel 4 that Armando is developing. It’s called Gash and goes out, on Channel 4, every night for a week in the run up to the local elections. There’s Jon again look, on proper telly. Eagerly we all troop back to Channel 4 to ask if we can do another series. They say no. Apparently it “didn’t make the right noise for Channel 4”. This leads Armando to conclude that the right noise for Channel 4 is that of Vernon Kaye having his testicles attached to harrier jump jets that then fly off in different directions. Still, you could always switch over. Dead Ringers is still on the other side.

 

2004

 

V Graham Norton stops forever. Jon sits in for TV’s Matthew Wright as host of LBC’s lunchtime weekend show over Christmas and the New Year. The 99p Challenge is recommissioned, so is The Now Show and Jon starts writing and co-hosting a brand new Radio2 comedy show The Day The Music Died. He then writes, script edits and makes his acting “debut” in ITV1’s The Impressionable Jon Culshaw, JC’s own solo Dead Ringers spin off. He’s also asked to work on various TV panel show pilots which don’t get picked up and appears on the This Morning sofa as Fern Brittan and Phillip Schofield’s guest on ITV1. He sings happy birthday to Phil (it is Phil’s birthday) and then tells him (Phil) on live television that he (Phil) should be burnt as a witch. He is not asked back. Jon is asked to sit in for Andrew Collins and host BBC 6Music’s Drivetime show while Andrew is on holiday. He does this and plays quite a lot of rock music. It’s not often you hear Rush on the radio at 5 in the afternoon. Neither will you again because he’s not asked back. Meanwhile, Radio 2 recommission The Day The Music Died and the Now Show is offered to television.
The Now Show is turned down by television so it slumps back to Radio 4 where it belongs. The Impressionable Jon Culshaw is not recommissioned for a second series by ITV1 who say “it didn’t get as many viewers as Footballer’s Wives. ” Jon begins work on an end-of-the-year TV show with Armando Iannucci for BBC 3. The Day The Music Died and The Now Show both have Christmas specials and Jon seems to spend an awful lot of time in meetings with producers discussing programmes they’d like to make with him which, if we’re honest, will probably get turned down. Or axed. Apart from Dead Ringers. Which is still going.

 

2005

 

Jon ends his long term relationship with Dead Ringers even though it’s still going. He tells it “To be honest, it’s not you, it’s me" and then throws a glass of wine over it in a restaurant. In fact it’s a bit rubbish on the telly and Jon gets bored easily. Jon is then asked to co-write the script for the BBC1 televised 2005 BAFTA Film Awards with, and for, Stephen Fry. This involves both some pleasant lunches and a row with Keanu Reeves’s publicity idiots. The Now Show and The Day The Music Died stride forcefully into the New Year on the radio as does a brand new thing called Armando Iannucci’s Charm Offensive for Radio 4. He then writes the script for the 2005 BAFTA Craft Awards and then believe it or not actually hosts the 2005 MOJO awards, possibly because they rang him by mistake. At dinner Jon sits between The Edge off of U2 and Ray Davies who tells Jon that he’s a big fan of The Day The Music Died. Jon can’t return the compliment because out of the entire body of The Kinks back catalogue, he only likes Waterloo Sunset if we’re honest. Then, Slash out of Guns n’ Roses gives him a hug that smells of cigarettes and the rock and roll party hangover takes approx a month to get over. It is during this period that Jon gets his own one-off show on Radio 1, to be broadcast in September. He also contributes to two new BBC panel games 29 Minutes of Fame and Mock The Week and provides the guest voiceover for BBC3’s very good comedy 7 Days. He also ends up going out on a ‘bender’ with legendary drinking ginger Chris Evans with whom he tries, and fails, to organise lunch so they can talk about a) ideas and b) both being sacked from Virgin Radio. Jon is then asked if he’d like to sit in for a week doing a mid-morning show on BBC Radio Kent, his local station. When he stops laughing at their mental idea Jon agrees and on his first day so angers a rival local station by calling them live on air that they call lawyers and make an official complaint. So far so usual. Jon’s Radio 1 show gets a broadcast date of 2nd September. Three hours before transmission it gets pulled from the schedules by BBC lawyers. That emerging pattern we talked about earlier? Here we are again. How reassuring. Apparently it was all to do with something Jon said about Abi Titmuss. The lawyers go away to talk about it and the broadcast date gets put back a week. Then, a week before Christmas Jon lands a book deal and a sitcom script commission. 2006 will see him writing both.